It stays hard, to experiment, to evolve, to become better but at the same time yourself. I've always liked drawing, and I guess I've always been "good" at it. Even though I've regularly had my doubts, people always kept telling me I was good, had talent.
Since at least a year, and probably since longer than that, my style has changed. This is only logical since I'm young and in search of myself and my own style, the things I like and find important. However, I still have doubts, doubts, doubts. About everything and anything. Since that year (or longer) I have been more focussed on abstract(ed) art, a sort of naivety has entered my sketches and drawings and paintings etc. Not a true naivety of course, I'm not a naive person. But my style is less realistic and more to the point, the images play more the role of portraying something deeper than of showing how something really looks.
I don't think it's a bad thing, but sometimes I see other people's work that is very realistic and I feel like people don't think I'm good enough because I don't do much of that work any more. I have to admit though, I haven't drawn or painted very much except for school or just sketches so, well... The realistic art is much more popular than other things, and so I sometimes feel unappreciated.
Sometimes this makes me want to be very good at realistic drawings and paintings, and though I know I'm not thát bad at realistic drawing, I know that I've lost some skills because I haven't drawn very much in a long time.
I mean, I'd love to get lots of attention, who doesn't! But I don't really mean it like thát. It makes me wonder, do I want to be the same as all those other people who draw realistic things? Or do I want to part from that and just do my own thing? But why couldn't I just do both? How can I turn it into the way I want to go myself? I mean, being popular is good, but that's a lot about connecting too, and social networks. Something I kinda.. stopped doing. It takes too much energy. Yet, if I want people to watch my stuff, to like it, to say something about it, maybe even want to buy it, and of course, if I want people to get to know me a little and look into my webshop (whenever that opens) and buy things, I'll have to get some more attention. And it doesn't come easy. And I know this very well, but I don't know if this is the right moment for me to get lost inside the internet again, and comment and tell things and be so very active. I just don't know how I can combine that with how I feel and everything. But I know I'll have to do some networking in the end, I do. We'll see.
Hmm, maybe I'm just rambling too much now?
Then I wonder again, ís this bad? Shóuld I draw more? If I really wanted to, which I think is the case, then I would, right? So this confuses me a lot.
I really want to do both. But I don't really know how to. At the moment I just really want to start drawing and painting again/more. We'll see what comes from that.
I have the feeling this blog entry is a bit... vague and well, me wanting to be popular. That's not really how I mean it, though. I just thought I'd say something like this on my blog XP
And all this, just because I was thinking of the good old days on Elfwood and DeviantART, and how there's still only one drawing in my online portfolio at www.ArtByInora.com
I was kinda afraid people would not know I can draw because there's only thát picture on there in the drawings section. But then again I really should upload more pictures, but that means digging through tons of files on one of my many hard discs... Not a fun job... But it has to be done, some day.
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